7 Ways to Succeed in the Sport of Dating! (Part 2)

Newsletter 11/21/07

We've all ready leaned the necessity of compatibility and attitude. We'll continue this week with the importance of focus.

3. In sports, it is best not to dwell on your past bad performance, but rather look forward towards making your next point or shot. In the same way, in dating, you don't want to think about how bad your last date went. You want to focus on having a good experience this time around.

My next piece of dating advice for women and men covers reaching your goals.

4. In sports, it is important to keep your eye on the ball - where it's coming from and where you want it to go. As in dating, you want to keep the focus on your goal of your time together and the end result you desire. Are you looking for a marriage partner? If so, does the person you are dating have that same goal? You want to make sure your reasons for dating are in sync or you will have major relationship issues!

Until the next time, when we'll continue our discussion on the Seven Ways to Succeed In The Sport of Dating.

~Amy~

7 Ways to Succeed in the Sport of Dating! (Part 1)

Newsletter 11/14/07

7 Ways to Succeed in the Sport of Dating! (Part 1)

Do you play sports? If you do, you have some skills that can carry over to your dating to improve your chances of being successful on the dating field.

I have been playing tennis since a young age. I understand that there is a physical and mental component to playing the game of tennis. The same is true for golf, softball, bowling and any other sport that requires hand-eye coordination.

The next four weeks I will answer your relationship questions in order for you to be able to improve your dating score! The first bit of dating advice for women and men involves your attitude and compatibility.

1. In sports, you need to visualize yourself as being successful. If you see yourself as a good tennis player hitting all winners, you will probably play to that level! In dating, you need to see yourself as being successful as well. If you believe a date will go well, (and you want it to), you will be more likely to have a successful date. Attitude is everything both in the dating and on the sports field!

2. In sports, you want to access the kind of player you want to be in a game with. You want to play with someone of your own ability level, or you'll quickly get bored. In dating, you want to be with someone who is on your same intellectual and emotional level (spiritual for some) or else you will surely lose interest over the long haul. Being with someone who is on a different level with can cause relationship issues, just as it can cause an incompatibility in a sports game.

5 Ways to ba a strategic Dater (Part 4 - End)

Newsletter 11/7/07

4. If you want to meet singles, go to singles events and trips.

· Birds of a feather flock together! When people are interested in meeting someone, they venture out to events where there are other singles. I know one attractive lady who sticks around her married friends. She is shy and doesn't like to be with people she doesn't know. Unfortunately, she does not meet men to date since she doesn't make the effort to get out into the singles world. As a relationship coach, I have observed several people who just went out to a singles event the first time and met their spouses because they pushed themselves to go out and were looking to meet someone!

· There are singles groups for every interest possible! If you play tennis, there's a tennis singles group in most metropolitan areas. Golf singles, biking singles, single volunteers, single parents and etc. All you have to do is search for singles groups in your area.

· When you think of vacation time, seek a singles group or trip. Again, there are trips to Europe, Asia, and Africa, as well as in the good ol' USA. You can travel by bus, bike or cruise boat, or you can go to a Caribbean Island to an all inclusive resort that has singles' weeks. There are single ski trips, biking trips, and tennis camp weeks. Forget traveling with your parents this year even if they offer to pay. Your goal is to meet someone and you can't do it by hanging out with them! For ideas of where to meet other singles, check out my resources on my website.

5. Be open and ready to meet someone anywhere and anytime.

· You can meet someone on a plane, on a train or the line at the grocery store. A client recently took a trip to Florida. Her seatmate was a very nice, eligible man. They talked all the way down. He asked for her phone number and they are now dating.

· Be dressed and ready to meet someone. When you go out, try and always look your best. I'm not suggesting that you be dressed to kill with professional looking makeup. I was on a singles biking trip when I met my husband. I always strived to look cute and put together - and natural looking. You can look fabulous in a t-shirt and shorts, as well as a tank top and skirt.

· Project an approachable attitude where you appear open and easy to meet. Make sure your body language is open, with a smile on your face and your arms not folded across your chest. Ladies, some dating advice for women is if you are at a singles event, don't stand with a bunch of other woman. That can be intimidating to men. Either hang out with only one other woman or off by yourself. And, if you are at a dance, stand near the dance floor, and look like you would really like to dance!

Being a Strategic Dater is about knowing what you want, and being intentional about how you go about finding the right romantic relationship for you. You may want to consult a relationship coach if you need some help strategizing. Remember, think before you leap and stay open to the excitement of the opportunities you are creating for yourself. Go and make some plans!

~Amy~

5 Ways to ba a strategic Dater (Part 3)

As we continue to learn Five Ways To Be A Strategic Dater, today, we'll find out about an important time-saving tip. Perhaps all has gone well in your search to find someone you'd like to meet, and now you're ready to take that next step and contact him or her. Below is yet another way you can become a strategic dater:

3. Be conscious of your time and use it wisely.

• Don't date people who don't share your values and life goals. Also, be careful not to date people you think are good for you but you are really not attracted to. That never works out in the end and essentially causes negative relationship issues. I have a client who is dating someone who he already knows doesn't share his goal of getting remarried. He enjoys her company and he feels that it is better than being alone. He could be spending his time finding someone who wants the same things in life that he does instead of marking time.

• When searching the online dating websites, only meet people who you have screened for their values and life goals. Make sure you talk on the phone a couple of times before agreeing to meet them. One client was anxious to meet them and "get it over with". She missed the screening process that the phone affords. So she had several bad dates with guys who couldn't hold a conversation. Now she has better success with face to face dates since she does her due diligence on the phone.

• When you are meeting someone for the first time and especially from the internet, keep your date to an hour or two maximum. I have seen examples of these first dates going several hours and then, the guy never calls or the gal never responds to a call for another date. Don't overstay your welcome. Give the person a taste of who you are about but not the whole enchilada!

Strategically planning your dates helps you become a strategic dater, increasing your dating success.

5 Ways to ba a strategic Dater (Part 2)

Newsletter 10/24/07


Put yourself in a place where you would have the best chance of success.

• Pick events that are age appropriate. I have seen 50 year-old guys go to 20-something events and wonder why they are not successful. Most of these women are not interested in guys who are their father's age - unless you are a successful, rich celebrity!

• Go to places where your gender is in the minority. If you are a woman, go to sports oriented events. I biked, skied, played tennis, volleyball and softball. I even bowled to meet men! If you are a man, go to an exercise class which is mostly female- even if you look like a spaz, women will give you credit for trying and being willing to make a fool of yourself!

• Go to places where you will see people repeatedly. Don't go to events and places where you see someone once and most likely never again. You get to know a person better over time. As a relationship coach, I had one client who went to a dinner at a church once and saw a woman he was interested in. He never got a chance to talk to her the first time. Next month, he went back to the dinner, making sure he sat next to her. The third time, the following month, he got up the nerve to ask her out. Now they are married!

Strategically planning your dates helps you become a strategic dater, increasing your dating success.

~Amy~